Certain lyrics can lead you into a cul-de-sac, especially if the hook lyric is restrictive, let’s say, your hook lyrics are, ‘I need you’. How many times can you say, I need you?
‘I need you as a flower needs the rain.’ ‘I need you as I’ve never needed anyone before.’ I need you as…’ Blah! Blah! Blah!
Try to come up with a strong visual hook lyric, e. g., ‘Chequer Queen’. My verse 1) ‘they call you the chequer, your game is so cruel, they say yer’ just a wrecker, yer’ breaking all the rules. But now I know for better, though my heart is sold, cos’ ever since I met yer’, I’m checkmate, checkmate.’
As you can see, this hook lyric opens up a reservoir of things to say about the game of chess and linking it to a chick (the Chequer Queen) who checkmates her lovers.
However, there is a thin line between cleverness and cheesiness. If you start saying:’ You stole my king of love and made him resign.’ Or: you used your pawns of love to trap my heart.’ The lyrics sound corny and overdone.
So, find a strong hook that offers a vivid lyrical idea, and keep it subtle.